Broken

Up in the barbershop, Mrs. Nellie Lovett was edging closer and closer to her beloved Sweeney Todd. She tilted her head to the side, trying to see his face better in the dim light. He was standing by the window, staring out into the night, but not really seeing anything.

Nellie came to the conclusion that he was in one of his trances. She continued searching his face, trying to decide if he was "awake", and before she could think twice she closed the gap between them. She took Sweeney's face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. She knew it was potentially dangerous for her to act so suddenly and spontaneously around him, but the minute she kissed him she was in heaven, so to speak. She knew there would be consequences for what she was doing, but she didn't care. She couldn't pull away now, not even if she wanted to.

After a second or two, Sweeney came to his senses and reacted immediately. He grabbed Nellie's shoulders in his hands and shoved her away roughly.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing Mrs. Lovett?"

Nellie jumped a bit at the anger in his voice and started franticly trying to apologize. "Mr. T! I'm so sorry," she gushed, "I wasn't thin----!"

Sweeney grabbed her by her neck, before she could finish her sentence, and slammed her against the wall, lifting her feet were off the ground. He held her throat tightly in his hand, making it hard for her to breathe. At the same time, he took one of his razors and held it to her slender neck, pushing the blade into her pale skin.

Struggling under his strong grip, Mrs. Lovett looked into the dark, cold eyes of the barber and saw her own fear reflecting back at her.

"Mr.…T…!" she gasped at him, "I-I…can't…brea----!" but she couldn't finish. She pulled at his hand with both of hers, trying to break free of the deathly hold he had on her and he just watched her, smirking. It was no use. Her vision was already going blurry, slowly fading to black, and all she could focus on was the pain she felt and the man causing it.

Just when she thought she couldn't hold on any longer, Nellie was thrown to the ground with excruciating force. She gasped for air, clutching her throat and shaking all over. She was in shock and felt too woozy to move, but as soon as she was sure she could stand without collapsing, she walked unsteadily to the door and left the room. She didn't wait for him to tell her to go, not this time. She wanted to get as far away from that man as she could.

Mrs. Lovett made her way down the stairs and into the pie shop, stumbling the whole way. She fumbled through the dark room, passing through the parlor and finally reaching her bedroom. She desperately tried to hold in the emotions that were welling up inside her.

She entered the dark room, closing the door behind her. "Just a couple more minutes, Nellie," she pleaded with herself, trying to breathe normally. She struggled to put on her nightgown with shaking hands, and when she couldn't hold in anymore, she crawled onto her bed, sitting upright with her knees pulled to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs, put her head between her knees and started to sob.

Why was this happening to her? Sometimes he was so mean to her, so cruel. All she ever did was help him. Every day she brought him his meals and cleaned for him. Not to mention all the bloody corpses she disposed for him by baking them into pies. And does he appreciate anything I do for him? No, of course he doesn't. She never once heard him say thank you, never witnessed a single sign of gratitude from him.

Instead, he would threaten her if she did something wrong or if she said something wrong. He would slam her against the wall and hold one of his "friends" to her throat. And though she knew he would never kill her while she was still useful to him, she knew he wouldn't have cared if she died.

And still, he had never gone as far as he had tonight. Normally, he would hold her there for a minute to scare her then tell her to leave. Tonight, though, tonight was different. He had choked her; to the point that she had just about passed out. He very well could have killed her and he didn't care at all. She meant nothing to him. She was nothing to him. To him, all she would ever be was a baker and a landlady, and nothing more.

And yet, she loved him. She was in love with Sweeney Todd, and she couldn't help it. She couldn't stop it. No matter how hard she tried, she could not stop loving him, and it was tearing her apart.

Crying harder still, harder than she thought possible Nellie dug her nails into the skin of her ankle. She raked her fingers across her legs, leaving behind deep gashes extending all the way to her knees. This was all she could do to stop herself from screaming out from the emotional pain she felt. She hated herself for loving the barber and more because she knew that he would never love her back.

She hadn't heard the bedroom door open, but she jumped when it closed, looking up to see who had come in. Sweeney Todd stood in her doorway peering around the room until he noticed her sitting on the bed. He wore an irritated expression until he looked closer at her. The room was quite dark, but he could see Mrs. Lovett quite clearly.

Her whole body was shaking, her hair was a mess, her eyes were red and puffy and her face was wet from crying, which she continued to do silently. Shock was the first reaction as his eyes traveled down her legs to the cuts.

"What did you do to yourself, Nellie?" he muttered to himself. He moved closer to her and as he did, she turned her face away from him, resting her cheek on her knee.

Sweeney reached out and took her hand. He flipped it over, so that her palm was facing up, and gently uncurled her fingers. He looked closer and saw that there was skin and blood under her nails.

Sweeney sighed, dropping her hand and walking around to the other side of the bed. She turned her head again, crying into her knees, hiding her face from him. He sat on the bed, swung his feet up and moved to the middle, so that he was within reach of her. He reached out and pulled her close to him, stroking her hair lightly when she put her head on his chest. Being so close to him calmed Nellie and her sobs began to subside.

Why was he doing this? Coming in here and comforting, acting as though he actually cared about her. It was only making her fall for him more and that was the last thing that she needed right now. She shouldn't let him comfort her; he was, after all, the whole cause of this situation. She should get up and walk away. But she couldn't, nor did she want to. Maybe he did care for her a little bit. Or maybe he just thought she was annoying and wanted to shut her up.

At that last thought, Nellie started to cry again and Sweeney only held her closer, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around her tiny form.

Sweeney was starting to feel guilty about her condition, and in a couple minutes, she had cried herself to sleep. Before tonight, Sweeney would have never fathomed holding the baker in such a way. Her usual, bubbly nature was difficult to deal with and it often ticked him off, but he had never seen her like this before. She seemed so vulnerable, an odd state for Nellie Lovett because she always seemed so strong. He hadn't wanted her to tear herself apart because of him and he hadn't expected her to physically hurt herself. He realized that he didn't know her well at all and he had no idea how she would have reacted in a situation. He knew that she loved him, but that was about as deep as his relationship with her went. He had never tried to get to know her, not since before he was taken away.

And then the barber found himself having unwilling feelings for the baker and found that he wanted to know her better. He looked down at her and realized that he had never really looked at her, either. She was beautiful, in a different way than his Lucy was, with her wild red curls accenting her ghostly pale skin. He tried to stop himself from thinking about any of this, he the thoughts kept coming back. He tried not to think of how much he actually enjoyed holding Nellie in his arms, comforting her, but once again his attempt failed. He sighed; it was a sigh that was full of both contentment and despair, but he knew that he would sleep well tonight.

For the first time, since he didn't know when, Sweeney wasn't thinking about his Lucy. Instead he drifted off to sleep thinking of only one thing: Nellie.